I am happy I released this song as the lead single to my next album. At surface level, this song discusses the terrible feeling you get from watching your partner interact with that friend. Situations like this can lead you to overthink and feel so insecure that you start to think you're crazy. And in many of these situations, people around you WILL treat you like you're crazy- it really contributes to the spiral.
I wrote this song in retrospect, inspired by an event that happened years prior. Now, I am able to look back and reflect on the events on that night, how I felt, and how I changed from it. It was a night I really felt heartbroken, and I often still think about it at night when I can't sleep which is the perfect time to think about the worst things. On a deeper level, this song is about how that one night still plays in my mind. Years later I can recount everything and still feel the way I felt then. I spent that night spiraling in my head, but I woke up the next day a little bit different. From that I learned to communicate, to stand up for myself, and that it is ok to not be ok with things.
The events of this song take place entirely in my head. It's not a perfect recount of the events of that evening. I paired this single with an interlude prior. That interlude confesses that I am in my head and that what I'm seeing isn't real and I ask for reassurance.
Throughout ‘Birthday Party’ I'm asking for reassurance, for proof that things are actually ok, but at that point I am pretty much too far gone.
It is not a hate message, not a complaint, not an expose on anyone being mean, it is a reflection on a significant moment in the past. This reflection will continue in future work and just barely scratches the surface.
thank you!